can't wait for January to be Over so I don't have to see all the fat resolutionists working out.
just because she threw up on my junk doesnt mean i dont like asians anymore
The Swedes wanted a tensome.
Honestly, it's not that easy picking a Saturday night outfit that can translate to Palm Sunday mass. Priorities.
Yea idk it was like early in the morning and you were walking around with no shoes carrying a printer
also, i am in no position to judge as my life choices today went along the lines of "YAY VODKA". for breakfast.
Sorry about all of the penis things that happened last night.
I made everything so magnificently awkward in under 15 seconds. I am magic.
They live across the street from a school baseball field so they have porter potties across the street and let's just say that I'm grateful they exist
Thanks for the bagel and the sex.
Consider yourself lucky. If I ever run into my ex, all I'll be able to think is, "I let you pee on me and lead me around on a leash."
Sorry I crashed a riding mower into your garage door. No hard feelings??
Hey when you get home, can you do me a solid and throw one of your pregnancy tests on my bed?
EPT or First Response?
I opened the bathroom door and the starting point gaurd was eating out my art history professor
The weekend was a blur. There was vodka and penises and orgasms. I played a game of Cock Roulette and won big
Randomize