The liquor store is having an inventory reduction sale. It would be a sin not to stop and help them out.
And we all know God doesn't like sinners.
Amen.
I want to give my boyfriend great head for his birthday...can i practice on you?
just went back to the bar and asked if they found a shoe last night.
I got concerned once i realized you weren't there to hear us having sex. See I do worry about you.
He's only a freshman and he needs to expirence shit like that..
YOU would be the Freshman Expirence
I will not be held responsible for my vagina's poor judgment.
You burned the hair off your arms. Again.
It grows back stronger each time.
The highlight of the night was when he yelled "WAS THIS CONDOM MADE FOR TODDLERS??"
Also, I would just like to reiterate my apologies for tearing up in the grocery store.
Blow job season was short but glorious.
Look,the guy had sex w/a Canadian prison guard on the deck of a cruise ship,he could blow any second.
I'm wearing sunglasses around my house. Douchebag status. The hangover is real.
I get so sad when I watch him slowly destroy his life with whiskey and cocaine. Then he bites my neck and I just want to fuck him. I can't help it.
So. Um. Hypothetically speaking...how would one get a squirrel out of the house?
If history is any guide, his morals are no match for my tits
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