Yeah and Nick is shooting his loaded 9mm in his backyard.
Just because he's a soilder doesn't mean his dick is a hero.
I found a big gulp cup full of vomit in my freezer, are you behind this?
Bath mats should not be used at mops. they don't work. consider this a drunk psa
I just sent a friend request to someone saying that i was the girl he shared a fifth of jager with last week. Thats something special. He better accept.
THERE ARE ENTIRELY TOO MANY HOT UNDERAGE GIRLS HERE FOR THIS TO REMAIN LEGAL.
I don't know what you're talking about. I just drank beer out of my own bellybutton by doing a backbend and letting it run down my body.
I'm drinking sangria out of a sand pail. I'll pass on tonight
what customs doesn't know wont hurt them
Just smoked out of an apple with Steve Jobs. I love Halloween.
tonight were gonna drink champagne and watch girls put themselves in awkward position
I gave you a piece of bread to sober you up. You wiped your face off with it and then gave it back to me.
Well I can cross 'get my dick slathered in coconut oil while watching the bob's burgers porn parody' off my bucket list.
I got all the way to work before I realized there were Trojans in my bra.
I just went to cvs and bought condoms, handcuffs and a coloring book
Randomize
