i'm so desperate for a drink right now i looked up the recipe to make pruno
i just found five singles in my underwear?! im suspicious but delighted none the less
All I did today at work was try to remember in vivid detail what your cock looks like.
you drank 3/4s of your half gallon of vodka, made a fort out of the kitchen table, and actaually had sex in in it.
We all have a cross to bear. Yours just happens to be attracting gay men.
I love drunk self when he leaves a prepacked bong for the morning... in the bathroom.
I'm not trying to go crazy tonight either. I just want to go out, have a few drinks, meet up with my ex-boyfriend and get fingered or something.
I can't believe i facilitated a beer for sweater vest deal last night...
We got really high and decided it would be a good idea to wash towels in the dishwasher. I left before I could see the final result.
I like to play this game where I try to reach orgasm before my bathtub overflows....lost tonight.
I still have a little drunk in my system
They were supposed to legalize it when there was a chance someone might actually propose to me. I'm appealing this bullshit.
I don't work there anymore. If they had Prince themed dildo parties i never would have quit
MY HAND WILL BE UP HIS ASS IF HE DOES NOT APOLOGIZE FOR WHAT HE DID. IT WON'T BE THE GOOD-FEELING KIND OF "HAND-UP-ASS" EITHER.
Then you guys just all showered together...?
Randomize
