Consumer Beware: Redhead has herpes.
If I don't wake up snuggled up to 14 ice cream sandwiches, my life is incomplete.
the only girl from my high schools graduating class coming to our school next year went stag to prom and still has braces...
dibs.
Sweet. Might not hurt to poop on the floor anyway.
so why are there three stressed gay men and a bowl of vomit in the smoke room?
Bring enough bail money and little extra for tacos after
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Justin Timberlake, while dressed as Britney Spears. Fuck Jessica Biel, all my 90's dreams are coming true.
sorry like um she made me hold her puke bag while she peed in front of me is that better
hope your day is as exciting as mine- one of our trauma patients just stole an ambulance out of our bay... WITH AN EMT STILL IN IT.
I would use the term shit faced but I'm too polite for that
cmon you know I'm perfectly capable of something that ridiculous 100% sober
Is it sad or funny that I just bought two pregnancy test at the dollar store to give away to people on New Year's Eve while driving for Uber.
just saw the most amazing side boob. i wanted to hold it.
He's just been a dick since he set his face on fire. I just wanted to eat a fucking hot dog.
Hypothetical question: Would it be wrong to tell the annoying children who don't listen to their parents that the motel is haunted?
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