i just realized how high i was when i was screaming red light challenge at the top of my lungs and am watching it alone
He told everyone he was going inside...an hour later we get a knock on the garage door from some dude telling us a guy is passed out on the lawn and we should get him inside because it's about to rain
I plan on gettn treatment center drunk
did mom hear me barking???
oooooh yeah. good luck explaining that one
sooo high. sooo many dog friends
Ended up at a lesbian bar and almost got stabbed in the eye with a dart. Weirdest bachelor party ever.
all i know is that i listed him in my phone as 'vagina cookies.' that can only be a good thing.
You just kept holding your breath for a really long time and calling it lung excersizes.
If Anthony Weiner can get in trouble for sexting 2 or 3 girls I dunno how politicians will make it in 10 years.
Lol I would vote for a guy that is trying to be a senator that has a viral video of him motorboating a topless chick
Life update - currently drunk off my ass in the yoga room of SFO at 5:30 in the morning.
Out of ten? A seven. You pulled your shorts down to your ankles, jumped into the pool and announced you were a merman.
I'm hammerd and his penis is still the size of a giraffe's neck
If you're gonna show up unannounced on hangover day, you better have coffee doughnuts and a boner
He asked me how many starwars references he could make before i no longer find him attractive.
i think ive been high everyday since ive met you
I have blood and BBQ sauce all over my shirt. I blame you for the blood.
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