Saved 180 Bucks tonight. Pulled my own tooth. More money to party with.
operation have a gay friend backfired
lets grab drinks (in a friendly, not super awkward because ive eaten your ass kind of way) sometime soon
wow.
...But it's not like we would be the first people to pay for an abortion with student loans and cell phone rebates.
I dunno... But she calls vodka "dancing juice"
currently taking a solo cab to the strip club at 1 in the morning. this is healthy.
I think you should just bang him and get it out of your system.
That's what you say about everyone.
My "lord keep me from stabbing a bitch" prayer has gotten a lot of miles today
I bought a mink out of the back of some guy's van on my walk home from the bar yesterday
It's not even noon and I've had 3 people call me a savage, one of them said it in reference to the blow job I gave them. So I guess you could say it's going to be a good weekend
11:30 and people are pissing in the sink. It's gonna be a good night.
You sat down in the middle of the road and started crying. We told you "Get your ass up or we're leaving you here." You replied "They'll findddd meeeeee" and ran after us.
she has no right to get mad at us for drinking during the wedding. she's the one that chose the bridesmaid dresses with pockets.
I'm in the fetal position trying to figure out a way to get someone to deliver me pancakes.
The night got way more interesting after Jimmy started doing summersaults in front of the bar.
Randomize
