Anything crazier than usual happen? I woke up in a stairway with my cock out.
STOP SENDING ME DANCING JESUS FORWARDS.
thanks for showing me a good time......and your penis a few times. Thanks especially for that.
he's werid. hell kiss me after i go down on him but he wont kiss me after i eat anything with mustard.
I'm telling you the guy came in bought a box of condoms and all three of the chicks that came in behind him followed him to his car. I want his life
I have got to stop singing on voicemails. I just left my dad a 6 minute musical message.
My brother is wearing glitter eyeshadow and split leg skinny jeans
You've been usurped as King of the Gays
Apparently I made a stripper cry last night when I paid her $10 to go away
So immediately after we finished having sex she started singing, "The Circle of Life", put her clothes on and then just left. I think I'm in love.
I just got caught impersonating a t-Rex by my boss. Sadly he wasn't fazed by my behavior and acted like it was normal.
I'm missing my left shoe, and there's a note on my foot (in my handwriting) that says "HAHA BITCH" Any explanation for this?
He fell into the beer pong table and broke it. Then he threatened to throw the toliet at us if we didn't let him keep playing
You grabbed your house keys, threw them at the door and asked, "did it open?"
It was bad. U were calling my cat "kittiano" and playing her like a piano. Way too drunk my friend.
Okay I’ll say it... THIS MOVIE FUCKS
That’s probably the first time I've heard Little Women described that way and I love it
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