its good for cellulite if you don't wear underwear. its true
bowling with tennis balls and shot glasses. whatever you dont knock down after 2 rolls, you drink.
You kept hiding marshmallows in the freezer saying "they would never think to look here"
found POGS while I was cleaning my room this morning. Definitely bringing them back to school to turn into a drinking game.
he got promoted. that means i have now given my new boss chlaymida. i need a new job.
Fastest blow job ever. Though it was probably a good thing since we were in front of my house.
I just realized that he was my first random hookup that didnt cause a massive breakup or divorce. Im starting to grow up
I finally got out of bed at 8:30pm and my little brother informed me that I had cereal stuck to my back. I'm going to smoke a cigarette and go back to sleep.
telling her she was ovary-acting wasn't the greatest idea. doing it in a text so she could see your spelling was where you really went wrong, though.
this hospital has no fireball
I just got a girl to make out with me just by saying "get at me." Get at me
I may or may not have hooked up with the cop who arrested me.. Or I can cross hooking up with a stripper in a cop outfit off my bucket list.
Sexting my TA in lecture = awesome
Family acid trip. They're welcoming me into the family.
What. The. Fuck.
Family acid trip.
You literally snort drugs up your nose and you’re questioning the brand of the multivitamin right now?
Randomize
