Wow. Thanks for becoming another fan of something on Facebook. You make me want to gouge my eyes out.
Just took a celebratory "i havent slept with anyone in this bar" shot. yesssss....
I'm sorry. I really don't see what's wrong with pregaming before a wine tasting.This champagne won't drink itself.
The wine tasting is just for charity anyways...
He's got a southern drawl and a lisp. I'm getting mindfucked right now.
Its what im here for. Critiquing penis photos.
I'll be on pinterest all night planning crafty things to do with my cats in 10 years.
You asked him for a membership to him and his dick.
I haven't even booked my flights yet and I have my drug supply sorted
I'm reffing a fight in Fight Club I don't even know what I'm doing
I'm sorry I couldn't bail you out, apparenty they dont take credit cards over the phone. Did you at least make any friends in jail?
I woke up completely naked in a mint condition 71 chevelle in someones garage. What.
Relax
It's hard to relax when a woman is waxing your asshole.
No you just wanted to pass out in your hallway because your room was too far away
Seriously though, I walked in and he was holding my cat in the air singing "the circle of life"...
I was asked to be part of a mmf threesome. I think I'd rather stay home, watching Orange is the New Black and cuddle with my cat though
Randomize
