oh well at that point I was already depressed with life because I had watched the bratz movie.
I was going through my mom's high school yearbook...almost half the people who signed it referred to her as "Karen Smokejoints", "Confused Karen", or drew a picture of a joint. I have never felt more like her daughter.
If one more "stranger" walks up to me at the bar and asks how I have been, I am going to rehab.
Starting drinking whiskey at eight. Already had ten girls looking up my kilt to make sure I'm wearing it right.
Is it love? I honestly haven't even thought about watching porn for over a week now, and haven't thought about fucking any strangers either. It's quite eerie.
I just can't have sex with a guy who has nicer eyebrows than me
The bad news is tonight is also a blue moon, ergo, latin, I will have to get 'once in a blue moon' drunk which I feel is significantly more dangerous than IPO drunk
Yeah. Well last night I sold my shoes to a man who I'm pretty sure has a weird foot fetish for $150 cash.
Three months into our sexual relationship, he comes out with "Your body is efficient". WTF do I do with THAT?
I needed to bring way more fireball to class to match this professors intensity
Why did I wake up with BYOB sharpied on my stomach
I don't want my vagina anymore.
I was at a hookups house and peed in his sink so I wouldn't wake up his mom... drunk me is on a different level
When I told her I was deaf and took my hearing aids out at night to sleep, she said it must be nice not having to hear drunken roommates having awkward sex late at night.
I just remembered I casually gave you a tour of the house after we boned...lol
Randomize
