Small Doughy Asian men and sleeveless hoodies with nothing underneath do not mix well.
Sounds like the climatic scene of my favorite erotic novel.
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this should be fun to decipher. I'd like to buy a vowel.
Just gave my manager part of my viccodin stash-my job is basically secured forever.
Funny. I made out with his brother for the first time in a bathroom too.
i will trade you pizza and a blowjob for a fifth of vodka.
do i get to eat the pizza while you give me the blowjob?
Should we start at nine like normal people or now like alcoholics?
I would not be 19 again if you paid me. Guess who found naked pictures of themselves? Fuck cocaine
I don't know at which point last night turned terribly, terribly wrong, but it was somewhere around Motel 6, specifically the parking lot.
The cops showed up and one of them got pushed in the pool. When he got out he looked really sad so I got him a towel and hugged him. He arrested all the underage drunkards but me.
The best part about living in a college town is the annual rush of senior girls who want to get in their lesbian experiment before they graduate.
Stop leaving me alone with my ex boyfriends after keg challenges. Woke up in his bed covered in what you think would be cum. No...toothpaste. He left a note. "Be home at four. Don't be here when I get back."
Summers almost over and we haven't golfed, got naked or had sex yet. Let's do all three in one day, no particular order.
How many ballsacks did you see last night because I saw eight
Putting a bow on your dick doesn't make it a real present
As long as there is beach, drink, dick, in that order. I’m in.
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