I find it funny that "sexual harassment" contains the phrase "ass sex". Let me know what your thoughts are on the matter.
i just recognized the girl sitting across from me from a lesbian porno... should i ask for an autograph?
there are certain things about getting into a cab to go home at 630 am that make me feel like a prostitute.
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
It's raining. Will need ride home and blow job.
Apparently he's into classy girls that wear sweaters and don't throw up on him when they go out.
I want a bunch of melted cheese. or a penis. or a penis covered in melted cheese
Just saw a dude dressed as captain america driving down the highway. He saluted me.
I found three vicadin and a pint of fireball with the note. In case of emergency drink me under their sink.
We had sex on the beach. I was completely naked except for my sneakers. That's when you know
I'm seriously considering refraining from drinking on school nights.
I like how you say that with 4 school days left of the school year..
ATTENTION PENIS' OF BURLINGTON: I AM COMING FOR YOU
I also tried to hide a bottle of vodka in a build a bear last night so that something that happened in my life
YOU FUCKED THE DARE INSTRUCTOR DIDN'T YOU?
he broke off the kiss to ask "can I grab your boob?" like props for asking for clear and concise consent but there HAS to be a sexier way to do it
Randomize
