So thats when I found out ur supposed to put the penut butter on your balls not your dogs balls, feels alot better
I just want a better ending for myself. Not walking around with one sock on and my bush hanging out.
he just asked me to email him a handle of captain morgans...how sober do you think he is?
I think I told some stripper my friend owned Groupon Last night
Just walked out of my apartment and came face to face with a shirtless dude playing with his balls and trying to tie his shoes.
No, I am not setting up my roomba to clean up puke.
Once you mention butt plugs, conversations always take a turn for the worst.
I honestly think the worst part about the night is they just kicked us out of the park and we didn't even get to go into Disneyland Jail
She complimented my boobs and then told me I smelled like teddy bears before falling asleep on the floor.
Yeah she let me pull the goalie and wear my USA flag like a cape since it was the first day of the world cup
But, if I start dating you brother, I can't talk to you about the sex anymore!! Like... Can we talk about it anonymously?! I just won't use his name.
He's gonna be like you slept with too many of my friends and you're being voted off the island haha
The dicks good but it's not two trains and a bus good.
try to milk me bitch
Enjoy your early 30’s! You’re still young enough to catch a twenty something that can fuck 4 times a day, hot enough to date forty year old penises that can last long enough to give you multiple orgasms
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