I don't think ill make it tonight the floor wont let me walk
I can't breathe out the right side of my face
I'm gonna write a book, Things that go bump in the night: The story of Katelyn. Chapter one, my roommate is a dumb whore.
I don't care how bad it tastes, i just put it in my mouth and deal with it
Let's just be mature adults about last night and never speak of it again.
hey, this is the drunk ass freshman from last night. thanks alot for helping me out last night, i'd probably be on some lawn if it wasn't for you guys! and my mom says thanks for talking to her
He's throwing up in my bed and I'm not even getting fucked for this
Curled up in the fetal position, trying not to throw up or think about my future, and humming songs from musicals to myself. You?
Jesus these cramps...it's like every potential fetus I swallowed last night is personally punching me in the uterus
The whorange rubbed off. His white shirt was so gross at the end of the night I told him to frame it.
If I am telling you about the details of the shits I take I probably don't want to have sex with you. Probably.
You can't call dibs on the bed... every time you party you KO in the bathtub
Hatred of squirrels is the least of my hereditary problems.
One singular head for man, one giant climax for mankind
Are you sure you found YOUR underwear?
Randomize
