she has no idea who harrison ford is.
see that's why i'd never date someone born in the 90s
suntimes in life you find a rare opportunity, mine was bonin my gf in front of the tv
She asked the class if starwars was based on a true story...
you really dont want me to drink and drive. you saw what i did to my face and that was only from walking
handjobs have no place on a baseball diamond
No, absolutely not. If you see that cunt, throw confetti or eggs at her.
That's a pretty extreme jump from confetti to eggs
I just threw in a dip with a guy that superglued his fake tooth back in today. My life is complete.
My usual answer of have sex with it doesn't work in this situation
Heard you were the one that shit off Jamie's balcony. FYI there is a cabbie down here out for blood
WAKE THE EFF UP THE UBER DRIVER IS TRYING TO TAKE ME HOME
You told me you were with a dog dressed as a taco, and it was the only one you trusted
Googling enemas while I get a pedicure ... My life in one senence
I or someone else dumped a lot of glitter into my boobs last night.
College is really paying off. I am gonna be a great teacher. I just made a grading sheet for weed. This shit got an A.
It was all like "my feathers evolved from scales of a reptile bitches!!" and I was all like "damn this chocolate milk is AWW SOOME!"
Randomize
