Bea Arthur died! :(
What?
Big bird passed.
Note to Self: No matter how horny, turned on or in the moment you are, never go down on your gf after she had soccer practice.
I am sleeping on the floor in your room so if you have sex in here just don't roll on me
With the way things had been going, I was never more excited for a person to cum
tailgaiting my last final, a perfect sendoff.
next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
I just saw an easily 300lb shirtless man on a Vespa. My day has been simultaneously made and ruined.
The bachelorette started when I opened the door and they threw a few dozen dildos at me.
I'm slightly more gay than I thought. I'd go so far as to say I'm a top.
Next time someone asks you what your spirit animal is do you really want to answer the iowa state fair butter cow?
The site I use to study flash cards keeps showing ads for truck companies hiring drivers. It's like the site is saying "hey, we all know there's no hope for you, just give up and Become a truck driver."
I guess I'm open to more types of dick now
eating chex mix on the couch when he walks in naked and asks how he looks. are you shitting me.
I see the guy who's been trying to get me to let him eat my ass became engaged on Facebook today; would framed screen shots be an appropriate wedding present?
He deserves a nobel prize for his dick-giving abilities. 10/10, would ride again.
Randomize