Your dad touched me again.
I wish I could tape me & him having sex. Not for pornographic reasons, just for comic relief.
I had another sleeping on concrete incident.
The girl behind me at the dollar store said couldn't wait to get her permit, then requested a pregnancy test. God I love being home.
So, I had a dream last night that girls approached guys at the bar and said things like "i would like to pleasure you tonight." No drink buying, no sweet talking or ANYTHING.....it. was. awesome.
i gave him the "yep, i was your girfriend's collegiate lesbian sex story" head nod
Of course it's dangerous. Why else would they hire us after we failed the drug test?
The google font looked peculiar last night, but then up close I realized it was just dry vomit.
pretty sure I offered to blow her dad. she's not speaking to me & he won't stop winking at me.
I asked him if his doormat had a name, then proceeded to sit on it for the next 30 minutes while signing that magic carpet ride song from aladdin.
We have to have sex while I'm dressed as a tiger. It's one of my life goals
She needs to go. She is like the Yoko Ono of our group.
she used her teeth again, but this time it was out of love
Slammed 3 beers and just bowled a 129\nI guess alcohol IS the answer
I just realized u compared me to a coconut
Randomize
