i really wish someone from a royal background would fuck me so i could literally say i was 'royally fucked'.
Studying for the exam.. Identifying the portraits using phrases like "large penis"
just found gum connecting my sunglasses to my floor board. you don't want to know where else it was.
My head. My head is the problem. Also alcoholism.
I've been there a week.. I'd rather all my coworkers not know that I'm already sleeping with my boss.
I just told my mother my "if there are drugs I'm only taking them if I don't have to pay" rule and witnessed her perception of my shatter and crumble behind her eyes.
I can't go to class, I have all this weed to sell
She had like a side ponytail and hoop earrings though. And legwarmers. Like a horrible 80s nightmare. Don't drink and dream, dude.
The fact that I am laying in bed on my stomach with an ice pack on my rump is a clear indication that I am no longer in my carefree 20s
I've talked to too many cops in one week and I haven't even committed any crimes. I hate the suburbs
Let's just say his oral game was lacking. Hell, lacking is too nice of a word to describe it.
I don't know what's worse. The fact that my biological mother is an unwitting bigamist, or the fact that my half sister is trying to seduce my girlfriend.
I hooked up with the sexiest couple in the LAX BATHROOM IN THE CHANGING FAMILY ROOM HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAA
Visiting my great uncle went well. The highlight of the evening was when he said, "Oh my god. I'm 79 and I'm teaching 18 year old kids how to roll a joint."
I wish I got tanner on friday but I feel like I spent most of my time puking in the bathroom. I love my life
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