I think I tried picking up these girls last night by asking them what their favorite color was...I obviously woke up alone
Words of Wisdom: ordering a pitcher of whiskey cokes, putting a straw in it, and calling it your drink is not socially acceptable
you are hot. that is all.
who is this?
the delivery driver from silvermine.
She said she didn't want to have sex because she was so torn up about "this whole NBC thing."
This is me reassuring you that I'm still alive and making sure you still are.
Yo. I have a shitload of cardboard. We have to build a smoke hut in the smoke room with a tunnel connected to a cat house. This way the kitty can join us whenever she pleases
For looking exactly like her, she tasted less like her sister than I would've thought
I wish my brain had a "congrats you just defeated the munchies" notification!
Apparently he crashed because 3 different girls were trying to give him road head at the same time.
Abort mission; I repeat: Abort mission.I found an attractive one.
Apparently I told him he would be good for human sacrifice.
I have a video on my phone of someone streaking in my house last night, do you have any idea who it is?
You should have just fucked me in the bathroom when you had a chance!
Think i may just have managed the saddest high-five in history. Finished a sudoku and high-fived myself, then looked around for somebody to high five. there was noone. forever alone.
don't worry dude i have your phone, text me when youre gonna come get it
Randomize
