sometimes i look at this picture of your cock before i go to sleep, there's something comforting about it
I was like, "um, that's my butthole."
i just turned the eviction notice into a beer pong list
Are you still giving blowjobs?
Who is this?
I'm not trying to go crazy tonight either. I just want to go out, have a few drinks, meet up with my ex-boyfriend and get fingered or something.
i almost burnt down an apartment complex. little busy, get back to you later
You actually went to class. Im eating dry cereal naked and watching bring it on.
I think if I set up a series of baby gates up the stairs each one more difficult to undo then the last that should be able to stop your drunk vagina.
It's time to run my sex life like a basketball team. Got the lesson Clint!
He was trying to talk to me about standards while he had a french fry box on his hand like a glove and was using it to flatten his cheeseburger.
Everytime I give him head I make him rub my back. Teamwork at it's finest.
We're so high we're eating flavored lube.
I swear I'm going to walk in one day with you in a ballgag just masturbating feverishly
Well i can't stand the sound of my own crying
I just saw a guy faceplant off a unicycle while holding a saxophone, while his buddy riding another unicycle and sporting a flute rode by laughing
Only at UConn...
really enjoying the fact I don't remember how the staff party ended. feel like I need to shame drink today
feel at noon?
Randomize
