I think i'm just gonna start shot-gunning everything that comes in can form.
The last thing I remember was talking about the economic viability of cock ring manufacturing... we had some good ideas
My neighbor just watched me eat a granola bar without pants, this is a whole new level of unemployed
they call him Oral-B. enough said
Tried to bribe the bartender with wedding cake. Felt bad for not giving her a tip.
Exactly. Motivated vaginas are the best kind of vagina
And literally 4loko margaritas are callin my name. They're like "Hey girl come on over here I'll make you forget about grades and boys and it'll be a good idea to send everyone 55 snapchats of your cleavage" ok
Last night you found an onion ring in your fries and then you started singing "A Moment like this"
If one of us has to be polite I guess I won't sneak out while he's in the shower
Who suggested the eggnog wet t-shirt contest last night like whose idea was that
Speaking
HE TALKS ABOUT HIS DICK IN THIRD PERSON ABORT MISSION ABORT FUCKING MISSION
I miss using glorious as an adjective. I'm gonna start doing that again. And I'm gonna try to get cuntatrosphe in there some more, too.
I need you to ship me a penis cookie care package.
Yea he was still drunk. He wore a Toga to his job interview.
Its like people have to train for months before they try and drink with us and survive...
Randomize
