my dad just told me that a lesbian kissed my mom at a bar last year
I just told her she was a heartbeat above a blowup doll.
I'm going to an arts college, I live next to the frat houses, and my room number is 420. god has plans for me and I couldn't be happier.
And next time, don't pick a fight with me when you're naked. That's just not fair
So what if i ate it off the ground. Its like i found a five dollar bill just laying there, in burrito form.
the whole "pretend to be sober/pull it together for my family" thing really blew up in my face when i threw up into my pillowcase.
I came out, you were peeing on the car and when I asked why you said it deserved it because its a rental
He's moaning and crying and coughing up something audibly liquid. I can't live in this house any more.
I just feel like you're using me for sex.
I'm glad you finally understand the context of our relationship
Told her my spirit animal was the spread eagle. Now that's my name in her phone.
by the way whatever wisdom you imparted upon me last night was lost to whatever i smoked out of a beer can.
How does a law student 15 days away from graduation prepare for a pass fail final? Drinking beer, eating thick cut bacon, and watching game of thrones, that's how
If I wasn't stoned and knee deep in cheese and crackers I'd help.
He called me kiddo. We can't have sex
This is like 50 shades on steroids but with healthy relationship models and mutual respect among all parties involved and lesbian activity.
Randomize