The guy asked if i had a problem w/set schedules
i'm sick of taking my pants off and seeing a look of disappointment on the girls face. i want her to be frigthened
Yes, yes she is. This will teach her not to pull her vibrator out and harass people with it at parties.
Need a travel agent to tell me which countries in Asia have legalized prostitution for New Year. Fireworks would be cool too.
Its pretty simple actually, if she texts me either Grr or Rawr it means she is horny and wants to bone. its a perfect system
Im at target. Idk why I'm buying condoms AND a tutu for my cat. No one who dresses their cat up has ever gotten laid.
Its not that I don't mind giving her as much as my penis as she wants, its the post sex cigarette I have to supply. Shits $9 a pack.
Put a tip jar next to your bed from now on.
Your good ideas are reason #4 we need to live together.
June 16th my calendar just says boobietassels....I can only assume that has to do with you
I woke up spooning with a broom that someone taped a mustache too..i need to stop starting my nights by drinking "hangover" wine.
While looking for socks, I found my mothers sex toy box. Dear god I finally understand where my kinkiness comes from.
The last thing I remember was wearing a sombrero and trying to do cartwheels in the club
You did one successfully. Then smashed into the wall
BTW he text me to text him later after the concert to hang out. Im prepping my bed but I should know I shouldn't count my dicks before they hatch
My Canadian brought me three bottles of maple syrup, a sunflower, and a pair of Oakleys back to the states...he's either drunk or he loves me
Gary just stuck his dick in his Guinness. I can't even make this up
I will be wearing a suit out more cuz it has been decided i rage harder with a power tie
Randomize
