Can i come over
After you called me a desperate slut? No
Come over
She was raised with a wonderful home life. I can't do anything with that.
just peed on my foot to get a spider off. that lazy.
So just to get a feel for things...how prone are you to male Amish strippers...
Eh, not fuck buddies. I prefer sexercise partner.
tell me why they applauded then the bartender locked himself in the bathroom when i walked into the bar today ????
It was almost as bad as the time I peed on the floor of the Pentagon's subway station.
It's times where you wake up in the hospital after trying to road surf that you wonder what you're doing in life.
Just fucked a MILF from Alaska. I love traveling.
Do not tell guys at bars about kittens you rescue. They will walk away.
I think I'm just going to go like every guy on tinder who has a jetski. I'm doing this for us, Summer is coming.
He was stoned laying on my bed singing I'm a little tea cup while I took a pregnancy test. Thank god it was negative.
That awkward moment when you are on your way to ICU and the only sympathy gift you can think of is beer and whiskey
The bride is so wasted, she fell into her cake.I wanna be on her level
Just letting you know that I just spent 11 dollars on a car wash... Because you had sex in my car.
Randomize