I fell asleep on the toilet again last night...
He had personality for days, but cock for only minutes
she has double-d's AND she knows what level Pidgeot evolves. don't tell me she's not a keeper
My neighbors are outside blasting Hootie and the Blowfish while drunkenly hitting a stump with a hammer. I could get used to this.
Was I really yelling "girls night" at random chicks before stealing and drinking all their shots?
At least I got to make out with you a little before you proposed.
I AM VODKA MAN
Sex with him is like pizza, it can be shitty but its stillll pizza.....
When one of my seniors asked "Rough night?" I realized my poor decisions involving Tuesday night drinking did not go unnoticed.
in that moment our bushes were one. and in that moment we were pure.
She's passed out laying in the middle of the street. Cars are honking at her and going around her body. We need to stop playing BONECRUSHER.
They ran out of toilet paper so I used the rug to wipe my vagina
So let me get this straight I was getting drunk with our science teacher from high school and you got drunk with an 82 year old woman who invited you back to her house and made you sandwiches.
Yes.
Also, two points for knowing me well enough to know I definitely would put the moves on his brother.
i just woke up on the desk in his dorm with him snoring in my vagina. better than last week waking up to a different guy puking on my bare ass i guess.
Randomize
