3.50 mugs at the bar.
Nah man, im with an ugly chick. Im waiting til everyone's drunk enough tonight, they don't notice.
How ugly, and does she have friends?
Aunt Jean just announced that her pubic hair is getting thicker as her head hair gets thinner. As a family we are just not a people of mystery.
Also, I'd like to add that that I'm not quitting my job, my boss fed me shots at 11 am this morning.
A guy dressed like Jesus just gave me a mini keg. Prayers really do come true.
True. I'd rather snort cocaine off a homeless guy then work on the weekend...Actually that may not be that bad.
a guy just walked up to us....drank the rest of my beer....and said sorry for my loss before walking away.
I'm drunk at a gay bar with my riding crop. God save the queens
A horseman, i repeat, a man on a horse downtown just told me i was gorgeous and my friends were not. Not drunk enough.
I was expecting it to be of the "I am your vagina's reckoning" caliber.
at least I have the sex noises of his roommate to entertain me while I wait for him to wake up
To be fair, I'm probably one of the better candidates for the role of 'baby daddy' in this town
I swear to god he's making pineapple onions and cheese. He thinks he's making eggs onions and cheese
I'm eating a subway sandwich in the bathtub because I don't want to move. God bless boys from Brooklyn
And don't worry, I have a great track record of rallying after a casual midday blackout.
Sex was followed by homemade breadsticks. I waited till after the breadsticks were gone to tell her i had a gf.
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