Come to the Burger King. We're waiting for you.
Dont touch anything! You just got rid of your crabs!
I'm going to use my one free fuck up card tonight.
What'd you do?
Its more like what im about to do.
Michael Jackson and Farah Fawcett are dead
NOOOOOOOO not MJ! Someone tell the paramedic to grab him by the heart and just "Beat it"
i sleep in a fine layer of vodka and semen. i don't know that that would appropriate for a pajama rally.
I glued a penny on the door Tricia believes its Patrick Swayze haunting our apartment. Fuckin potheads.
I woke up at 3am naked and stroking a watermelon.
how do I tell the students with a crush on me, that yes, I am open to receiving blowjobs in exchange for grades?
Im embracing the luau theme and maybe bringing a kiddie pool filled with alcohol. Im also embracing the high probability I will not remember this night.
Ok so in the last 18 months I have now driven four different dudes into counseling. I'm like heroin with a vagina.
I'm glad you have such faith in my ability to find the worst situations with my vagina.
does doing it on an automatic sink count as shower sex?
Mid stroke she told me she'd had bigger. Replied I could tell. Sex ended right at that moment.
To be honest, waking up to 20 naked people in my house was not the weirdest thing to happen to me in the past 24 hours
EW HE LOOKS LIKE SOMEONE'S DAD
Randomize
