hook me up with the drugs dog keep up the good work
Yes. Hungover. All the boys are going wakeboarding. Boys only. I wish I was a gay guy so I could go wakeboarding but still suck dick.
She came to work with 6 additional layers of make-up, playing every Nickelback song about explicit teen sex, and with a dozen twinkies she bet she could finish without chewing any. I'm investing in a rape whistle.
I had a dream that the allstate guy hooked up with flo from the pregressive insurance commercials and she gave birth to the geico gecco. I need to stop taking ambian.
Ever have a poop and think... that has no business coming out of a human? Like it looks like a sick dog's or a ferral animal's?
He had in his status he loved beating off and tagged his wife. another reason facebook should be for college.
regular news: took many shots of tequila.....bad news: woke up with a toothbrush and vagisil next to me.....good news: clean as a whistle
She was either really drunk or really not interested. Everytime I tried to ask her about herself she would respond with a line from Stepbrothers.
We're gonna have horrible, horrible babies.
That's why you bone lesbian cage fighters and 45 year olds. To make life less boring.
I woke up on a navy base in a different time zone. I'm never leaving tallahassee again.
Judging by the progress I've made since I woke up (none) I'm thinking this hangover may keep me in bed.
I just noticed that pic of your cock has a Christmas tree in the background. It's July.
All I want for my birthday to be fingered and eat pizza
Just once, I'd like to make it to my first wedding anniversary for a change.
Randomize