the girls on my floor started fighting over who got to keep the random hoodies that boys forgot in my room after sex
Responsibility does not care about your dick.
He just ordered a bottle of Beam at an Italian place for us to share.
I had a great penis washing session in the sink before I left. Washed off all the bar and green beer
....I found a picture of what appears to be the underneath side of the barstool (taken from the floor) and to top that, 9 pictures of the ceiling. Also, did I mention there's a picture with us posing with a pregnant lady at the bar?! WELP
My clothes are covered in blood and I feel like I drank a gallon of elephant cum...it's safe to say I'm hungover
Strip club for my birthday. And none of this discrimination shit. We're going to a guys one and girls one. Go get your singles.
Paying for my weed with Mike's hard lemonade freezables. The perks of having a gay dealer
Is it bad that I coached my cousins 6 year old boy to steal a 30 rack of keystone out of an unattended cooler at our family reunion, or was I just giving him a social head start in high school? I err on the side of awesome.
ok I know you arent happy with the way we ended but paying someone to pass me an STD is TOTALLY FUCKED!!!
Well, let's just say, I got that eye patch like we were joking about
At this point, I wouldn't be surprised if he laughs at all of our attempts to keep him sober.
Who brings nunchucks to a funeral?
If you're signed up as "sober sister" can you do cocaine or nah
U dont jog and buy condoms n bulk
Randomize
