the best thing about dollar beer night is beer is only a dollar.
STOP SENDING ME DANCING JESUS FORWARDS.
We almost died tonight..we almost die every night. but tonight was the closest by far
He came in 20 minutes late for his final wearing plastic bags on his feet, and a tablecloth cape. Explain.
Someone at all my grapes... if it was you or one of your hoodrat friends I swear to god I'll shit in your shampoo
I threw up in my closet when I was hammered last night. Like a fucking toddler. I can't play with the grow ups.
"He was so not worth staining my backseat for."
All I know is I woke up with his business card in my bra and in my handwriting on the back it says 8 inch.
Actually here it's more "lie around naked in a dark room" weather.
Drunk assassins creed leads to explaining to my father that "it was only a steak knife in the arm"
I'll send you pictures of my nipples so you don't feel left out.
I don't think you understand...I'm really good at getting drunk
either he just commented on my nose ring or he's offering me cocaine, I honestly can't tell
Hey do you or anyone you know want to get drunk for free? At 4pm tonight at rctc for field sobriety training for future cops
hey i'm sure you are probably asleep bc you suck and think sleep is necessary to live or something?
Randomize
