i find it sad that i can no longer sit in the back of class for fear that someone will fart into the heater again.
it was like fucking gandolphs beard
I feel like someone was just looking at my memory and took out an eraser and was like "nope he doesnt need that"
ok so hold on... from what i hear... thank you... i'm sorry... and your welcome.
she passed out facedown in my lap while I was playing piano. 11 years of piano lessons finally paid for themselves.
Woke up chewing my pillow from a dream where I was scarfing Cajun pasta from TGI Friday's. That's a new level of fat, even for us
Complete silence. Background Willy Wonka music. An empty back of Lay's BBQ chips. These are the ingredients for an extreme acid trip.
Trust me. I don't get home before 5am. I know what Immmm doing. BTW bail money is in my closet. PEACE
What happens at the gay bar stays at the gay bar. Except that I sold my panties for $100. People should know that.
I saw a crackhead in a ballerina outfit riding a bike while waving her hands and one leg in the air. Never seen such talent in my life
Some guy offered you 100 bucks last night to suck your toes. I had to drag you away while you were yelling at me, "Stop money cock blocking me!"
That's just where I'm at in my life.
I feel like it is our duty to make homophobic people more afraid of us. They're never going to change, but maybe we can get to a "wrath of god" kind of worship-him-or-he'll-destroy-you-with-his-care-bear-stare type thing.
I just wish the first erections of my life didn't take place at a dentists office but hey whatever I turned out alright
When's the last time you had sex near some ducks?
can you tell me why i woke up in a diaper and combat boots?
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