You were so hammed, you asked your buddy in Economics to plot a demand curve for Parmesan Cheese.
Did he make you just lay your head next to his cock and talk to it again?
once you get past the part where you think youre gonna die, its the most amazing drug ive ever experienced.
Just so we're clear this time around: This is dinner with my FAMILY. Not an opportunity for you to drink too much, and use the word "dick-thumpin" in casual conversation.
WHEN DID YOU SAY YOU COME BACK BC I GOT INVITED TO A KEG WAR PARTY
Used my phone to vibrate 'eye of the tiger'. It's like Rocky is punching my nuts, but gently.
What kind of costume was that supposed to be??
I'm an orgasm trader!
He said i got a new job lets blow this money he bought 4 bottles at the club he is now crying after seeing the reciept
I'm basically flying you out for a long weekend of sex and going to the zoo
I'm cool with that
I was wondering why are people staring at me til I realized I was bra-less with a lei around my neck
Turns out that Irishman put my panties under his pillow afterward. Thanks?
Hey know anyone who wants 58 lbs of whole frozen chickens for a couple bowls?
Mom saw my dick pic over my gf's shoulder. She told her she really should've had me circumcised.
Seeing someone hit Themselves in the balls with someone else's hand is amazing. I love being the sober one
This pandemic, it’s making everyone horny. I’ve got dick stashed all over town
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