I hate girls that dress up to come to planned parenthood. I just want to be like we are all in the same boat here, we know your slutty. Its OK.
i gave him a hand job with one hand and held the 40 with the other. this is like freshman year all over again.
I am actually insulted by the long string of ugly, fat girls he hooked up with after me.
I can't find my underwear or one of my shoes but he baked me cookies for breakfast.
So watch family guy till our brains melt and then bang till our bodies hurt?
He tried to use a signal flare to light the bong
And?
He melted the stem
I was blowing him while he was singing Happy Birthday to his girlfriend on the phone. I win.
What's more awkward than your little brother in law screaming, "I SAW YOUR TITTIES" at the breakfast table?
His step dad chiming in on the jokes.
HE'S EATING THE CONFETTI. STOP HIM NOW.
I found them. Thank God. Now I'm gonna have to take a Xanax for the panic attack I almost had trying to find my Xanax.
Just had my first american. He tasted like freedom.
Might be using my graduation money to pay for an abortion.
2015 is a year for health and mental stability and alas we are not yet there so yolo
Well my summer has already been productive. I partially caused a divorce.
He showed up at my house with roses and a bottle of vodka... to watch a movie. obvi i took the vodka and didn't sleep with him
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