just took a sink shower in Arbys bathroom
i think the fact that he graduated high school the year i graduated elementary school is sexy.
we screwed to my bar mtzvah tape, I became a man while watching myself becom a man
I fucking love fucking science majors-- she told me that she wanted to know if her gag reflex got better or worse with alcohol, and that her initial evidence had been inconclusive. So, next few weeks, yeah, gettin blown periodically. All I have to do is keep a log.
"must pass the hog line" should not only be used in curling. but also when we go out to pick up girls.
He invited me to see "alison wonderland" WHAT THE FUCK THATS NOT A FIRST NAME/LAST NAME TYPE DEAL
Random fact of the day: cum is a really good eye makeup remover
Just made a makeshift menthol by rolling a listerine strip into a regular cigarette... Poor? Who, me?
so some random man just messaged me on facebook "tig ol bitties" should i be concerned?
I could really do without pictures of your asses in my inbox. That said, I'm extremely jealous that I wasn't involved.
Oh god. Standing was a rash decision
I made it to Starbucks to do work and I've just been sitting here with my head on the table for 30 minutes...
I just looked at your pics on Facebook....there was cake? Where the fuck was I!?
God I love dating single dads. They've got their shit at least a little bit together and there's always snacks after sex. #nakedfruitrollups
I told my mom Jesus would want me to snort drugs on his birthday
She shaved her vagina in my bed. Good night
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