I wanna do crazy things to you in a tent
fuckk wrong person
.. who was that for? a girlscout?
you dont have to exercise, you threw up last night!
It was kind of weird
What did your mom walk in?
She flung her tampon across the room.
I thought about donating plasma but thats not the way i want to find out that i have aids
Hungover snowboarding. Puked off the lift and traumatized a group lesson for kids. Crash course on adulthood.
Soo time for a life change, my 6 yr old sister made my gf a puke bucket for her birthday
I CAN'T DO THIS MUCH FABULOUS BEFORE LUNCHTIME
There was blow residue on my chem book and my TA was like, did u stain your notebook with CaCO3?
He said I showed up in just my underwear and a bunch of towels I stole from the party I was at.
my entire left arm went numb
you need to get that checked to make sure you're not wired to have strokes instead of orgasms
He'll only communicate through snapchat with pictures of him holding his cat or his dick. Bit of Russian roulette opening them in public but I did it anyway.
I'm way too sober and people are way too heterosexual
I've had your balls on my face a bunch of times so the least you could do is buy a girl some dinner.
at the hospital. Kevin drank straight from the river
I’ve got a closet full of cosplay outfits and horny boytoy to help me ride out this pandemic
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