what time did you get home last night?
SO late...when your in the lap of a 35 year old superstar you loose track of time
He said to me " i could be your father but i dont care"...it was so hott
I admire the strength of friendship we have that allows for sharing husbands.
i seriously have like 9 pictures of people taking shots out of a vag on my camera....
For the love of God you used a 40 foot extension cord to bungee jump out the off the 2 nd floor
He won't ever take me seriously if I keep getting drunk and hooking up with all his friends.
We blazed in her bathtub. All 5 of us. Not easy bro
So... Sorry I threw that watermelon at you the other day. I didn't think it would break any bones.
At no time is it ever okay for my doctor to compliment my tattoos, when giving me a physical exam.......
She started giving me head while we were watching the Walking Dead premiere, WORST BJ EVER.
I just look at my butt and see so much potential.
Good, I would never sleep with your boyfriend , or send you an edible arangment
I wore a bathing suit downtown so I didn't have to put on underwear, I obviously don't have my shit together
A guy who takes a plate of chicken tenders away from us is not to be trusted or slept with
Question: anytime during the past week did I drunk dial you and give you full permission to grab my boobs? Cus I know I said it I just don't remember who I said it to...
I’m home. Please don’t call me unless you have an arterial bleed or you’re on fire. Love you 😘
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