At least I can take solace in the fact that with 8 billion some odd people in the world, at least one of them is shitting in their own car right now.
i was unaware that anal sex sometimes ends with shit on the bed.
you know you should just kill yourself when you are helping your 16 year-old sister get ready for a date and you're going out to dinner with you parents..
so she asking me "is it okay to have dangling labias?"
I used a physics textbook to prop her up so she wouldn't choke on her vomit...see I have learned something from statics class.
Yea. But u kept saying "as long as she doesn't have aids" so I was concerned
mom and dad are leaving for florida on 4/20, this is a sign
On your way out, lock the front door. And by lock the front door, I mean find the door handle, reattach it, and then lock it.
the creek. my friends left me at a party next thing i know im in a breaststroke relay race with a bunch of randos in the dark
Best part of having a window in your office is that you can leave through it when you shit your pants at work.
Typing up notes at the bar and doing shots with the bartender until close on a Wednesday. This is what my second year of law school has become.
Just drove by where I lost my sausage gravy virginity
she stole my Timberlands and my Sublime shirt and left her heels and bra. this is war
It was a fun night. I made out with the door guy at the gay bar but he didn't speak english
There was no door guy at the bar
Third time this week I've caught co workers dry humping. Quarantine really changes people's priorities.
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