Once you see the odd facial expressions and noises a guy makes while he is furiously beating off on top of you, it kind of puts things into perspective.
I'm so high, I forgot to harvest my farmville crops....noooooooo.
Worst stoner tragedy.
the girl next to me in class just threw up in a waterbottle during our exam.
Just deleted any ex boyfriends and potential lovers from my phone in preparation for Vegas...
I love how kegs are figured into our monthly bills
I've had more sex in the two weeks since we broke up than I ever had in any two weeks we were together.
Hey we met at the bar a week ago. Your friend gave me a rose and you asked about my nipples.
And I can feel feelings now and they hurt
I feel like I would find myself in so much trouble if I hadn't married my DD.
I hate you so much right now. You got us kicked out of my favorite bar because your drunk ass was hogging the Bluetooth jukebox and would play NOTHING but that goddamn skeleton song. IT'S NOT EVEN OCTOBER YET.
Spopky scrzy skeletonssz
I remember us getting kicked out of the bar, but neither of us know why. We woke up next to chicken bones on a plate with spoons, and my car has mud all over it including places where feet shouldn't be, like the speakers on the car door.
I'm trying to drink up the confidence to run in public.
she squeaked mid orgaism. I laughed she cried
I had sex while watching Lord of the Rings last night. I think I just reached a new level of nerd.
I was grinding with girl while I was eating french fries, and she turned around to hook up with me. She ate my fries.
Randomize
