Raise your hand if you bought 2 annoying girls shots of water. CLOWNS.
beer pong: waldo and ernie vs. bacon and eggs... i love halloween
The only thing I have to prove last night happened is a fireman's hat full of puke.
i was more sad about losing him as neighbor on fishville than as a boyfriend
New scientific discovery: The hypothetical attractiveness of a woman increases exponentially as her skirt:boot ratio approaches zero. Nobel Prize in my future?
He's eating a cream cheese sandwich. He's obviously distressed.
but i'm paying and its not a date cause he's got a gf and i'm hooking up with his roommate tomorrow night
He wanted to take a picture with our pizza to show his mom that I was pretty but more importantly that he practices in "sober" activities
What I love about college? The kid tripping balls has a kayak made readily available to him on any given Wednesday, Saturday, or Sunday.
She said she forgot something.. and when she came out she was carrying a garden gnome, and a bottle of vodka. she was too hot to question it.
Is this what it's like to be an adult? You plan out play dates for your vagina?
we've talked on the toilet we're linked now
Yep, you're going to hell.
I take on this great possibility with a beer in one hand and the girl I'm gonna fuck later in the other
Instead of.being an intelligent and mature adult and dealing with my feelings I chose to get hammered and fuck flounder
Eh it happens
He called my IUD an IED, and said that’s why I had bomb pussy.... I didn’t correct him
Randomize
