So i'm in mason getting an ultrasound.. and there are a bunch of hicks in here with their wild ass children and this one young mom yells at her kid "harley sit!"
You should introduce yourself as garth. As in garth brooks.
I would blow Magic Johnson for a pack of lucky strikes right now. Post-hiv.
i just walked by a road side game of beer pong? it's gonna be a long day
My mother's day gift to my mother is to promise never to tell her 95% of the stories I've accumulated in my life.
I just sneezed cum. He better have a damn good day at work.
Is it bad when your hot neighbor is crying on her porch, and your 2nd thought is "maybe her boyfriend cheated on her and she'll want to fuck me for revenge sex?"
Perfectly normal.
This freshman just ran out of her seat in a 200 person lecture, opened the emergency door and vommed everywhere. Then quietly went back to her seat. $2 Pitchers hit someone hard last night.
So my OCD kicked in and I cleaned his kitchen. His roommates were so grateful, they tried to pay me in weed.
YOU ACCEPTED, RIGHT?
I have a surprise for you
Is it drugs? I want drugs. Or a puppy!
Instead of getting a taxi some gay black guy drove us home. He is trying to break into the taxi business
Way to promote small business.
I'm stuck in a tree and request your assistance ASAP
Should I put the money for my dealer in a Christmas card? You know, make it more frstive?
Wow. I want to climb Santa. You've made my mind go places I wasn't prepared to explore.
I'm gonna write a book entitled "when you give a cop a cookie..."
I don't even want to know.
He sent me the milestone first dick pic this morning, it looked like a baby's fist holding a tree trunk. I'm frightened and aroused in equal measure.
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