id tell you what to do, but my morals dont exactly scream, "Listen to this guy!"
the day after is always just damage control
I'm not 100% on this, but I'm pretty sure I just accidently talked my way into a threesome.
Caught my drug dealer jacking off. I think this is a new step in our relationship
My math professor just asked us to draw the graph of the derivative of our drunkenness from friday to sunday. Dear Jesus this looks bad.
drunk. just smoked a spliff with a 19yr old hungarian bike taxi driver and bonded over the difficulties of getting weed in a different country. idk y shit like this isnt in the study abroad info packets
Bro, did you watch that scooby doo porn I sent to you?
Walked back to my room from the bus last night and all I see is 3 of my friends on the porch chugging whiskey and then throwing up in unison
Brandon just showed up at my place with a florida state cheerleader he met in vegas durin spring break. His life is a fucking movie
One of my students submitted a thesis proposal to find the exact correlation between desire for sexual intercourse and vaginal heat.
Tell me you accepted it! This is critical fucking research!
My mother is even happier about me having a sugar daddy than I am
Is it normal, that tacos make me horny?
He’s really fucking cute. Like, I want his penis in my mouth cute.
I just gave a fucking twenty minute blowiob.. I'm a GOOD girlfriend.
when I said eat the rich I didn't mean like that but here we are sucking that capitalist dick
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