That bar we were at last night smelled like cougars. Virginia Slims, Aqua Net and Summer's Eve.
it's like there's an entire ecosystem in your vagina.
I wanted to dispute a few 411 charges on my phone bill. The service rep told me I called them four times asking for Lady Gaga's number.
just got hammed at grandma and grampas 30th aniversary bash .. from the looks i was getting im guessing i wont be seeing an inheritance ...
His beard is glorious and he smells like barbecue. Introduce me to him.
I wouldn't have puked last night if I didn't inhale straight pepper from you shattering the pepper shaker on the wall.
i woke up to something itchy on my head. it was his mustache. he fell asleep face-plant style on the side of my head. WTF?
i feel like there is just so much pressure to sex him up, its like the weight of the world is on my vagina.
I had to convince someone last night that the fact that he couldn't get me off wasn't him it was me and to clarify I had to tell him there was only. One person that got me off every time without fail, he said "that guy is my hero" you should be proud
It's now officially the Christmas season, so I have no shame in drinking evernog.
You are a super loving wife. But did you, at any point since Thanksgiving, slip me half your bottle of stool softeners?
she threw up on her exam, awkwardly wiped it off with her sleeve and continued writing.
...blackout vacation is awesome. Where did you end up? I think i'm in Miami.
Hospital.
you can't just call dibs on my vagina bro.
I think a major source of concern would be the fact you snorted a shot. Who does that?
Randomize
