we were dressed as cave people and he kept telling everybody i was so easy a caveman could do it.
i must of done something right to please the booty call gods. . . maybe fucking that fat chick?
Its not really a relationship, its more of a sex for booze program.
If you hook up with your cousin you will permanently be my favorite person ever.
Dude, double fisting packs of Ramen saved my life last night
Oh please not the Easy Cheese again. That was weird.
I'm just trying to absorb as much of the fluids from the carpet as I can.
He stopped his car in the middle of ongoing traffic to ask me to marry him. Then he got pulled over. Yeah I'd say the slutty Dallas Cowboys costume was a success.
Your hotness may or may not have landed him in jail.
I was "singing along to the Lego Movie" high. Everything was not awesome
Is it bad I have to get shitty ass drunk on a Monday night because I can't adult?
Jesus when did you leave my house? I found 2 bottles of wine, vodka, and a book with blow all over it wondering if I was read bedtime stories
What the fuck i just wanna eat my froot loops and sext in peace. Y'all motherfuckers gotta be loud as shit and break my concentration
Omg my brain. Most recent thought: I fucking prayed in the bathroom that the other girl would leave. Prayed to Jesus
So.. I was kinda upset i got the bad fuck out of the situation
Idk if I want to put a bra on
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