I just got stood up by an 18 yr old. fmylife.
he keeps dipping things in ranch and feeding them to me
defrosting a beer in the microwave. no sparks so far.
Does she know that uploading nude photos to photobucket and networking are two different things? You may want to ask.
Update: still drunk enough to get lost in Zellers and to think my reflection was my mother. Awesome day.
they paper machayed me.
i told you ... never pass out drinking with preschool teachers.
I don't like getting sloppy drunk but I don't like getting just half drunk either, I'm way too responsible if my blood alcohol level is below 0.2
Do u feel more socially accepted since someone else made up their girlfriend too?
My jeans are ripped and her glitter was all over me.. My walk of shame looked like I fucked a unicorn last night
When I die I just want my headstone to my name, date of birth-death, and TEQUILA!!
My roommate is downstairs drunk, smoking, and listening to a self help DVD. Please dear God don't let this be the Ghost of Christmas Future.
Your the only person to come back from spring break with a non std related infection
Woke up with a squirrel in my bed, how was your night?
I was just tongue fucked into oblivion.
I CAN’T BELIEVE YOU STUCK YOUR DICK IN CRAZY!
Randomize
