Psycho is an understatement. U were running around the house screaming IM UNDER THE IMPERIOUS CURSE
It was then that he suggested we all nibble ears. A nibble circle.
The only pictures he has from one of the biggest football weekends is an album titled "I miss my dog" filled with tons of pictures of his dog and him. This relationship must end.
I just opened a bunch of old flavored condoms just to see what they tasted like.
$1.99 mimosas n bloodys til 3. Happy hour starts at 4. We're gonna ride the mechanical bull to kill the hour inbetween.
Please take video.
I just want you to know IcyHot in the ear is weird. Don't ask.
Lauren she was gnawing on a dresser. Gnawing. On. A. Dresser.
I know it was you that I fucked last night... I can smell my disappointment all over the sheets
He got violent drunk so we have to untie him in the morning. He's in your basement and you're out of electrical tape. Don't forget because I will.
I made Mark strip for me and do a stripper dance. I put 2 dollars in his mouth
Just woke up from a weed coma and found a stem in my bra. Rainy day success.
Guess who just got a Christian Beliefs class to seriously discuss the spiritual implications of dolphin rape?
I thought I came here to hook up, not for a Study Abroad 101 session
When i said you could use my car and have sex in the back....i wasn't being serious.
I told him I thought I was pregnant and he told me he accidentally killed my bird.
Circle of life.
Randomize
