Youre a pretentious asshole and im not sure who you think you are. Get the hell over yourself and the self righteous culture snob image because its pretty obnoxious.
there's just something about her that screams "i'm into chicks who wear flannel"
Omg. I bid $3000 on a cave in Afghanistan on EBay last night.
We are not in the same countries and I heard about your hook up last night BEFORE you.
It's kind of hard to say bye to you when you fall asleep on the bar..
She's going to get me a sippy cup for christmas. If I can't open it, I can't have any more to drink. Seem reasonable?
I've been timing it. He's been showering alone for 33 minutes. 4 minutes ago, he said "truth or dare." haven't heard anything since.
I just read "to infinity and beyond" as "to infidelity and beyond" something is seriously wrong with my psyche
to improve your porn experience, just imagine a slow speaking older English man narrating it all like a Nature documentary
fuck that its my house. if i want to take 1 bite out of the chicken & leave the rest i fucking will. suck my dick
I hate ovaries. They're horrible little sacs of satanic enmity.
That's the most poetic description of female anatomy I've ever heard.
She was about to leave with you until you started singing "You Hoes Ain't Loyal" in her face
Mischief managed.
YOU ARE NOT A MARAUDER, WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO NOW?
Sorry I wasn't opportunistic about sucking your dick in an Uber last night
Dude, he came to our house with a beer can in his hand dressed up in a chicken suit screaming, "free eggs!" then threw up and passed out in the front yard.
Randomize
