If you're really into hairy Serbian chicks, Cleveland has a lot to offer(216): We're going to cougar night, the serbian chicks are the best aged.
The vibrating part of my dildo broke, now I have to rely on gyration.
I like bacon cheeseburgers and the pussycat dolls
Does that mean you want me to loosen up your buttons at carls jr?
You American Chicks are so confusing....1 day you are on my nuts next day you be trippin
Dude its not just American chicks...a small penis is the same in every language
your friend did not want a bj. we need to leave. this is very awkward.
Overall win. We all know who got to sleep on the concrete outside of Denny's with you.
If he can forgive your lousy blowjobs, you can ignore his terrible driving.
Casually on the bus at 830 in the morning with a box of cheezits and a bottle of fireball sticking out of my purse....
Forgot to tell you--the bartender at Crowbar set his arm on fire last night. He was doing this "Cocktail" bartender trick of pouring alcohol that was on fire between glasses. Then some leaked out, onto his arm, and set his arm on fire, then his shirt. Exciting! (And he's ok).
Happy birthday, you long dick monster
My roommate was tripping balls last night, he kept me up all fucking night
Roommate? Please tell me you're not calling your cat your roommate
I didn't have toilet paper until 20 minutes ago. But I have champagne. Priorities.
Spent tonight painting strippers in camo.
EVERYBODY CALM YOUR SHIT
i just want things to go smoothly
oh they won't lmao
Randomize
