**** and his GF asked me to give his stuff back, and they would give me a 100. HA, they dont know I have it to charity haha
billy ray cyrus is narrating a show on the history channel. my iq cant decide whether to go up or down.
i wish sherlock holmes were still around today... he'd be able to find my g-spot.
Dipping doritos in ranch. Why doesn't he love me?
It seems like every guy I've hooked up with all end up hanging out together, its like a cult.
he made his penis look like a sprinkler when he was coming. it was pretty cool actually.
You asked me if you could throw up in my shoe.
Please tell me I didn't help an old woman shave her vagina last night. Please.
That's the least of the fucked up shit you did last night dude.
You can't just call animal control when you're drunk because there is a bug in the shower.
I fell asleep after the worst sex of my life and now I'm snowed in with him. SEND HELP. CALL FEMA. GET ME OUT OF HERE.
trust me. coming from a bonafide dirtbag, this dude is up to shady shit
FUCK. EVERYONE MAKE MY CONTACT NAME DADDY ISSUES
I've sent two unsolicited tit pictures in less than 24 hours. I'm the female version of a fuckboy.
That was just an endearing nickname I called you before. I'm not gonna call you a filthy slut now that you are one, I don't want to hurt your feelings.
How don't you remember..? You were getting handfuls of skittles out from our bra screaming TASTE THE RAINBOW.
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