Why. Ill be the rabbit if ull be the carrot.
this girl and her friend just showed up at my house. standing together, theylook exactly like the number 10. this has cockblock written alllllll over it.
Just fucked a hooker at a motel in New Jersey. Two states down, 48 to go.
Imagine if sharks could walk on land...scary.
I just lost $50 at the races, got drunk, and woke up to my ex-gf. Apparently the good decisions kept on rolling...
they just did a mariachi cover of free bird
I caught a rooster roaming Edison Park then released it in the bar. They made me try to catch it again and somebody played the chicken dance while I chased it
He still hasn't made a move, so I slept with his brother last weekend. Maybe sibling rivalry will motivate........
Woke up today to the sound of church bells. My first thought was shit the apocalypse, but then I remembered my hook up lives next to a church. This might be a rough day.
Celebrating anything "Eve" is never a good choice! I feel like my soul's been put in a blender on the "destroy" setting- in other news: Happy 4th of July
Please come home, i don't want to feel like basket garbage girl but I'm in your alleyway and not sure how to change that.
I'm about 95% it's a collapsed lung. Go big right?
Is it socially acceptable to break up with someone over snapchat?
Let's have sex in an apple orchard
Doing a walk of shame at Wal-Mart at 3:30am because when I left at 11pm I was getting milk
Randomize
