I am at the point in my high where i now know/understand chinese.
Is it wierd that I kind of wish I could hang out with Melissa Joan Hart?
Just took a closer look at the paper that kid wrote me his number on. It was an ATM receipt. His balance is $17.89. i made the right choice.
Its a three day weekend with Valentines day thrown in... Im obligated to get drunk
I made a vision board specifically for the purpose of boning john mayer.
I don't know where my bra went.
Welll you ran into the street, took it off and yelled "I'm a free woman!". And then you threw it at some homeless guy.
yeah, its right past the deli mart where i showed my right tit for mozzarella sticks.
is it weird that I didn't think he was hot last night when I was making out with him but right now I'm Facebook stalking him and think he's really attractive??
your beer goggles are on backwards.
You used up your allotted blow job minutes for the month of April last night anyways
i just stole a 8 pack of olde english 40s and 2 roles of duct tape. we are going to make edward proud tonight.
I just remembered that last night I ate nachos off of someone else's table with a stranger
5 hours of volunteer work playing with puppies and banned from the frat I hate most as 'punishment'... Besides the ER trip, I'm not seeing the bad in this situation
You're the third Mark I've fucked in that bed.
Would you be so kind as to inform your husband that my truck is forever cursed by mashed potatoes and it's his fault.
Just threw up in a cup driving down the road because there was cop behind me and I didn't want to pull over. Not sure if winning or failing at life.
Randomize
