i don't know what kind of porn he watches.. but that is NOT how you do it...
debating whether or not to save the package from my first plan b pill. it would be a nice addition to any baby book.
Thinking about fake proposing to my gf just so the middle aged women next to us will buy us drinks
I puked all over his apartment, then slept with the skinniest girl here. Which isn't saying much in Ohio.
I should go buy the economy size box of condoms and sprinkle a path like rose petals to my bed... Think he'd get the hint?
A DRUNK EMT IS BETTER THAN NO EMT!!!
Having him as a wingman is like telling the girl you already have aids
there's a strong possibility i came on your eyeliner last night bathroom sex was unplanned and rather messy sorry
I am pretty damn sure that neither my body or his body is ready for how drunk I am getting tonight
i know i should keep better track of the things that i put in your vagina but i've put so many things in there it's hard to keep track
which guy lost his keys in my bed this weekend?
Can we pretty pretty please go to Mardi Gras tomorrow? I promise I'll be a good girl and not puke in a pledges car
I'll be in SoCal at my bachelorette party, aka embracing a fireman covered in KY and chocolate shavings.
hey if you're going to the hospital do you wanna pick me up a taco on your way back
I gave you the craziest sex experiences of your life, the least you could do is let me keep the sweater.
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