talk about how much treatments for your hpv hurts
well if you came here i would keep you awake :*
did you just kiss me??? ... dude, im not gay
I knew I had to get an abortion when his toddler sister came up to hug my leg and I kicked her off saying, "Get off, fucker."
I just had a 2 1/2 hr conversation about the pros and cons of taping your ballsack to your taint, which then led into the unveilling of lady gaga being a hermaphrodite.
I would have been "that girl" at the party last night if it wasn't for that girl who puked in the potted plant...
I walked into my house this morning to find an 18 pack on the counter. I think that's gods way of ringing the bell for round two.
I just opened a gallon of milk that is good through the 10th of January- I hope I can say the same for myself.
What can I say, we hook up during the holidays.. We're a seasonal couple
just watched the video of me leading you with a trail of french fries.
Seius question. Does a penis floar when ina baht? Must find out.
Dude. That is just waaaay to much random to process after that tequila battle.
I feel like the way you told me you weren't pregnant was pretty anticlimactic.
I arrived home at 7am wearing nothing but my underwear and a fedora. I ate half a dozen deviled eggs. Put Katy Perry on repeat. And cried myself to sleep. We cannot go out on Thursday anymore
We got stoned and watched Disney movies all night. I think I'm in love.
God... We're terrible. I'm so proud of us.
I know! It makes me feel all warm inside. Or maybe that's just me getting closer to hell.
Randomize