I think he may have called me a bar rat, jokingly. I said i was but in a non-trashy way.
I should just throw a hundred dollar bill into the wind and walk away... save myself the hangover.
She told me I had to leave by four. We fucked until six thirty and we are the champions played on the way home. Yeah god knew
We're sitting in his room writing songs about America. There's a verse about a dead dog. There's tequila everywhere.
We drove around last night shotting fireworks out the window while they had sex in the back of his car
I cannot believe he got soft mid fuck. I just hope he bought that horrible impression you did of my dad. I love you though, you came in clutch tonight.
It was the least I could do after throwing up in your purse.
I know this is really fun but I don't wanna glow anymore
I really resent how she stayed home and ruined my plans to watch sci-fi and masturbate.
When exactly does a bender just become a lifestyle?
Sadly he is straight as an arrow that is designed by a robot computer from the future with lasers.
This saddens me. Mostly because I want to see the schematics on that robot.
Apparently I'm short enough to sit on his lap and fuck him while he is driving because the cop didn't notice.
I know you're asleep, but I just had a motherfucking epiphany.
This is why people in Buffalo die of heart attacks. This and wings
While she was pissing on the neighbors shrubs, they threatened to call the cops...she mumbled 'don't threaten me with a good time", so to answer your question, yes she was drunk.
Dude I'm fucking tired of freshman, there are god damn teeth marks on my dick again
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