Being 21 is my favorite hobby I'm really good at it
Passing las posas road. In a world of pain. Im trying to piss in a bottle through the hole in my crotch. I wish i had a bigger dick.
a slip n slide in 50degree weather was the 2nd dumbest thing i have ever done. the 1st was hitting the wooden fence i believed was supposed to "help us stop"
If I saw Perez Hilton naked I think I would stick a lit candle down my throat.
i can barely afford taco bell don't think a baby is in the budget
After I gave him a handjob for a half an hour he told me I should be a taxidermist. I'm gonna take it as a compliment.
I'm glad we are bonding over both contracting clamidya. Winners.
100%
Woke up naked next to Alex and he was braiding my hair and then commented on how healthy my hair was. I don't even know anymore..
You're an asshole. I don't want your dick as my background. I'll look like I have a thumb fetish.
I'd say things got weird when I started doing lines of molly in the box.
The family next to you was not pleased
And then we will celebrate by drinking and making fun of him. As per usual.
Halloween: the only night of the year wheee the more high I get, the more it compliments my makeup and outfit.
I cried while dry heaving in the back of the car to the New York song with jay z in it. I was singing it inbetween gags.
The magician guy on probation is here at the bar. I'm gonna get him to show me a trick
I'm just drunk enough to be eating egg rolls on the toilet
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