I wanna bring you to show and tell
"I want to just tie you up so you\'ll still be here like this when I get home." Actual words.
is it bad if I use the term bowl as a measurement of time, as in how long it takes to smoke a bowl?
either she doesn't know how to dress properly on a sunday morning stroll, or I just saw a 60 year old on a walk of shame
Just saw someone buying TWO six packs of O'Doul's. WHY ??
Tequila is the liquid version of celery. I lose more calories during tequila drunk and the following sexual activities than I gain by drinking it...
I JUST SAW A SIGN LANGUAGE CATFIGHT
i'm having the hardest time convincing my roommates to go dumpster diving for pizza with me. i really miss you..
Hey, what did you end up doing with those ski goggles?
Anything is possible. I didn't even know I was wearing the toilet cover as a hat
I JUST MADE OUT WITH A BRITISH SOCCER PLAYER. LONG LIVE THE QUEEN. GOD BLESS THAT COUNTRY.
During sex his mom asks from the other side of the door, "Do you like avocados?" Who doesn't like avocados?
He said that he doesn't like skittles. This relationship is over an it hasn't even started yet.
He kept telling me that it stood for Sex Utility Vehicle
My uncle showed up to pick us up at the bar just as I bought a drink so I put it in my pocket #drunksmart
one week and then i'm back on the sexual grind. a party is being planned in my vagina's honor
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