WIFE SWAP. FAMILY OF MIDGETS. LIFETIME. NOW.
he told me he once ran a blackmarket liquor store out of his house. thats all it took for me to go home with him
I told him he was my first gentile. He was so flattered.
After doing lines off my chest, she said, "do you even know how fast I could suck your cock right now?!!" and her friend said, "yea she totally could".
i'm sorry, but my penis isnt the solution to your problems
No, I don't think your idea of offering shots in exchange for bonus points to your history professor at B-Dubs was a good idea. Especially after you later told him that you would "tap that" in regards to his wife.
Look, as a friend I'm asking to see a picture of his tiny dick
Just paid off my possession ticket on 4/20. Helloooo awesome.
Why the hell did you invite him? He's gonna bring two more inches of dick and zero fun.
so gross sitting on a warm chair at a restaurant..you just know a fat person was sitting there shoveling food into their face for hours.
If I don't go to Australia I'm using that towards a new car. If I do I'll use it to buy a koala.
Two dicks, one me.
Yoga's definitely paying off.
After I came she just held my balls until I fell asleep. It was like adult swaddling. Magical...
Wearing the same clothes for three days in a row and eating an entire two pound bag of jelly beans really has a way of making a person rethink their life...
We're currently sharing pics of our cats. I can't wait to sit on her face.
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