In regards to your tweet: as its been said on all of those posters on ffffound: keep calm and carry on
I just wanna be some guy's midlife crisis
I've spent 9 hours vomitting in the fetal position... how did i stay like this for 9 months?
he kept telling me that god made these magical balloons called condoms
This hot topless Jamaican just ran down the st with me on his back and He was screaming "I be stealing yo white ladies."
I don't know if i should be jealous or worried... or question where you are.
The bald eagles cry cause u drink canadian beer.
They switched jackets and you didn't notice. You made out with both of them and had no idea
I can feel the judgmental stares of Christians from around the world right now.
I'm terrified that I'm going to have a baby with a guy who posts snapchat stories while ignoring my texts
There's no good way to say, "sorry your son saw me naked on top of your brother"
I mean my dick does have feeling again, which is a step in the right direction
Yes but I said "let's get a dog" not a drunk human so some rules will be established this evening
We were making out on the floor and his 13 year old beagle crawled in between us & just sat there...I got cockblocked by an ancient beagle named Bubba
He's perfect in every other way. Is buying him a cockring too forward or just honest?
Congratulations! We have a period
Randomize
