love makes seman taste better
I wonder if they've ever made a porno about the song "she'll be comin' round the mountain when she comes"
We made a percocet pizza. And then i made an unfortunate decision.
so i wake up and the chick who i had sex last night left her phone number. next to the number was a broken condom. should i call?
you came here, splled a bunch of margaritas, hung up a picture of yourself and then left
Dude just walked down the street literally wearing nothing but a small box around his waist carrying a case of beer. I want to live here for the rest of my life.
My first drink last night was a 2-liter of jameson and coke. So hung over it hurt to put my pants back on
We smoked a bowl, ate popcorn, and watched her lava lamp for an hour. it was a quality bonding experience
All I could think when I saw it was, "All right, Vagina, only one of us is getting out of this alive."
All I know is that I woke up with my pajamas on inside out in front of a bowl of watered down kd. Sitting up. I didn't even make it to bed.
Well we were going to compare notes, but all I could remember was throwing up, and all she could remember was kissing, so then we decided to not compare anything.
He specifically said I couldn't post the picture of him passed out naked except for a strategically placed washcloth. Where's the fun in that?
YOU'RE MARRIED. TO OTHER PEOPLE.
I found the crust to my pizza under my covers that's cool
We haven't had hot water in our dorm all weekend. Do you know if there is any other way to wash off shame?
Probably not. Getting pulled over and puking my guts out on the side of the road in front of the cop and him making fun of me, was not my finest moment. Plus I lost my debit card.
Randomize
