then he goes, "ok, i have to go talk to the girl i'm semi-talking to/dating and see if i'm in trouble" WHAT IS MY LIFE?!
Guess who has two thumbs, loves booze, and just dug half a handle of rumb out of a trash can in a freshmen dorm? This classy gentleman. Good day to you sir!
I don't know if it's her mysterious past or atrocious grammar, but I think I'm in love.
He told me they were just razor bumps!
He started yelling "fuck the environment" then puked all over the baby trees
just witnessed some guy trade his friend $5 and a condom for his keys.
Awesome morning. I just met my boyfriend's wife, should I have shaken her hand or was the hug a tad over the top?
But first time having sex and he went down on me twice?! I'm gonna marry this guy
I'll make sure to include that in my bridesmaid toast
There's a bachlorette party going on at the bowling alley, so we'll see who wins greatest shitshow tonight.
We should give each other good-luck-on-your-finals head in the morning.
People are stripping in McDonalds. Do I join?
YES.
The hint wasn't even a hint. it said "stop talking to her" that's pretty straightforward
I HATE HIM SO MUCH I HOPE HE GETS IN SOME WEIRD ACCIDENT WHICH MAKES IT IMPOSSIBLE FOR HIM TO NUT
you woke me up at 1am last night high on cough syrup to tell me jay z was an idiot for cheating on beyonce
Yeah totally passed out in their trash can last night.
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