Will you Wikipedia Vin Diesel? Is he gay? It's important...
please keep texting me so i can pretend someone likes me
i decided not to call her again when she started singing "goodbye my lover" as i was walking out the door..
Having sex with her is like doing taxes, Happens once a year and I usually end up paying.
My dealer, who also happens to be a male stripper, just invited me to watch him perform tonight. Boundaries buddy, boundaries.
We did naked snow angels in 14 degree weather, you can't tell me you had more liquor at that party
I would say I am sorry for punching you last night, but I found the pictures you took on my camera and it all came rushing back.
i have a feeling i am the only one who can successfully pull off the "slutty kentucky derby" look.
Let me refresh your memory. New Year's Eve in the back of my car you grabbed my hand and said feel my tumor on my butthole and at that moment I swear we were infinite
An old white couple caught us smoking the foot long. THE LOOK ON THEIR FACES.
I want to sit on top of her nipple mountains and reenact the Ricola commercial.
I was playing 'If You Had To Fuck One or Die' with the old composite pictures with a guy in the bathroom line. They were all pretty ugly so I go "You can tell this is a lower tier frat"......turns out the guy was a brother
I don't know, we got really drunk and I slapped her with an ear of corn.
Found out that I went to the same elementary school as the guy I'm hooking up with. Kosher or no
They got skeletons in the booths to enforce social distancing.
Thought they were weekend at berniesing that shit at first.
Randomize
