Dating is not our generation's strong point. We're an era that's good at getting laid.
next time dont tell jokes :) miss bonerkill
I don't know where your sunglasses are, I was too preoccupied with girls not old enough to drive past midnight.
It's like you don't even want to get drunk with me everyday, anymore.
I looked at him all bewildered and he said, "what? I figured if it was under 30 seconds it'd be free."
just ran into my gynecologist at the liquor store... i think she's found the source of my problems
Harry Potter. Singing. Sobering up. In that order.
I don't appreciate you drunk dressing passed-out me in spandex for bed
Just come back with most of your limbs...and your dick. Please and thank you
How many layers of skin can you loose before it becomes bad?
I got drunken sympathy for the whales' plight last night and signed up to give $50 monthly to Greenpeace. Calling to cancel was worse than the hangover.
Hear that? That's the wail of a dying whale. Murderer.
we were playing waterfall, then strip waterfall, then we were just listening to music, drinking, and slowly becoming more naked
I feel like im becoming the girl who only drunk texts him. I would be in the dog house, if situations like this had dog houses.
Nothing can teach you regret more efficiently than a wine hangover.
i got kicked out of the casino for drunken disorderly conduct because i kept stumbling into old people and one of them told on me. as the boucer was taking down my information so i could no re-enter i ripped my id out of his hands while yelling fuck you.
Randomize
