She had to put it in. I told her I was too drunk and didnt trust myself to not put it in her ass.
his penis was the training wheels of my sex life
Those motion detector trash cans don't work fast enough to catch puke.
Does anyone know who that girl who fell backwards and broke the shoe rack with her head was?
His ankle bracelet went off in the middle of sex. That makes a girl reevaluate her life...
I dont feel as bad coming home this baked because I gave my 14 year old sister a no drugs talk last night.
there is literally a full grown man stuck between the radiator and her bed. i thought i kicked him out 20 minutes ago but nope we found him
Just the amount of girls he locked himself in my room woth says your gonna have to take a cab bro. I don't think he's going anywhere
Just did a relay race involving shotgunning beers, cannonballs and riding a blowup whale. Never want to leave vacation.
only thing in my fruit bowl is 4 champagne corks and a jenga piece . Tuesday.
Was your bare penis on or around my blanket?
I feel like dick that good should always be within a five kilometre radius of me.
I know that you sometimes make decisions based on comedic effect, but losing your virginity shouldn't be one of them.
We're friends with benifits... The benifits being I'm fucking her boyfriend
Yesterday I febreezed my bed in between gentleman callers
Randomize
